Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Mar 11, 2008 - New horror DVD's out today

The first film that I'm going to discuss is cloaked in mystery and has gone by many a title... You may know it as "El Mascarado Massacre", or possibly "The Mexican Porn Massacre", but when it's released today on DVD it will be known to you simply as "Wrestlemaniac" There may be confusion regarding the title, but make no confusion when it comes to the star of "Wrestlemaniac", for he is Rey Misterio Sr! Mexico's most famous professional wrestler! Why he is not the hero of this movie, I have no idea. They really dropped the ball there... Instead, he plays insane wrestler, El Mascarado, who escaped from a mental home after having 50 lobotomies.... that's right, 50 lobotomies. He then he runs into a low-budget porn crew on their way to Cabo and kills them one by one, usually by ripping their faces off. "Wrestlemaniac" was written, directed, produced and edited by Jesse Baget. I'd tell you more about him, but Rey Misterio told me not to.

Sands of Oblivion" is Sci-Fi original, this one directed by David Flores. Flores seems to be one of their 'go to' guys, as he's directed a few of them, including: "Lake Placid 2", "S.S. Doomtrooper", "Crimson Force" and, the all-time classic, "Boa vs. Python". I'm not sure if "B.V.P." is a Sci-Fi original, but... the others are... in all honesty, I just wanted another chance to mention it, so I could abbreviate it to "B.V.P." Anyhow, Flores' credits read like a '5 for 1' bin at Blockbuster, having also worked on "Maximum Velocity", "Dragon Fighter" and "Phantom Force". The plot to "Sands of Oblivion" is actually kind of interesting and they've got some decent actors in it, including: Adam Baldwin from "Firefly" (who was also 'Animal Mother' in "Full Metal Jacket"), Dan Castellaneta from "The Simpsons", George Kennedy from the "Naked Gun" movies and Morena Baccarin, also from "Firefly" and "Stargate SG-1". The plot is about the reasons behind why Cecil B DeMille bulldozed the sets from "The Ten Commandments", which they say is because there were legitimate Egyptian artifacts being used as props and one of them housed the spirit of an Egyptian avenging god... which gets released when these archeologists try to dig up the set.

"Bats: Human Harvest" is, yet, another Sci-Fi Original. This one is directed by Jamie Dixon, who has a long career in visual effects. This is his second stint as a director, his first was almost ten years ago on "Shadow Builder". To be honest, I don't have much to say on this... it stars a bunch of TV actors, most of whom I don't know... it's set in present day Afghanistan and centers on a group of soldiers who endeavor to capture a fanatical terrorist named Fazul, who has escaped into the maze of caves underlying the landscape of the country. As the troops spelunk, they encounter one major obstacle - genetically altered bats programmed to seek out flesh and eat it. It's the sequel to 1999's "Bats" and, really, has nothing to do with it... except for the genetically altered bats part.

"13: Game of Death" is a Thai psychological thriller that was originally called "13 Beloved" when it came out in Thailand theaters on October 5, 2006. It's directed by Chukiat Sakveerakul and he won various awards in his native country for the film. This is only his second feature and it was shot on a meager budget of $400,000, which is remarkably low for what he accomplished with the film. "13 Beloved" is about a man who is led through progressively challenging, degrading and dangerous stunts by mysterious callers from an underground reality game show.

Can a week go by where we don't get a German, ultra-gore, no budget, zombie feature, that's not shot by someone associated with Uwe Boll by more than two degrees of separation? This week is not that week, my friends... "Hunting Creatures", directed by Oliver Kellisch and Andreas Pape, comes out on DVD in North America today, after being originally released in Germany on October 13, 2004. The plot revolves around a late night rave at an abandoned chemical plant, which has nasty consequences after leaking chemicals turn the partiers into ravenous zombies. I haven't seen it, but what can I say about German horror? Expect lots of over-the-top gore and a low, low buget. Take Uwe Boll, pump up the guts, trim down the budget...

"Aspiring Psychopath" is from director Ryan Cavalline, who's made three other films with very similar themes, "House of Carnage", "Dead Body Man", "Evil Tales 3: The Final Chapter" and "Serial Killer". "Aspiring Psychopath" is about a girl, Lucinda, who wants to be a serial killer, so she watches other killers and their daily routines (fairly simple stuff to do, who doesn't watch a serial killer every once in a while?), she studied them and learned from them, now she's ready to go out and kill on her own. First, though, she must take out the teacher she learned from. It stars veteran B-Movie star, Joel D. Wynkoop, who's been in over 30 films, all... exclusively, low-budget horror.

Oh, and what ever you do, don't forget about the "Leprechaun Triple Feature". Check it out or I'll bite your ear off and I'll make a boot out of it!

New horror out on DVD today:

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